Be honest, if you’ve work with a service dog sidekick for any length of time you’ve been there. It’s the moment no one wants to talk about. But in the spirit of awareness and good ol’fashion humor, one must break the silence. Yes friends….it’s service dog flatulence.
There you are sitting in a serious environment. If you’re like me it’s a college class or church. But maybe it’s a business meeting or another setting relatively quiet and focused environment. It’s quiet, people are focusing on the subject at hand and it happens. If you’re lucky you hear a small squeak that you can blame on natural sounds within your current setting. If you’re lucky you’re the only person with excellent hearing in the room and therefor the only person to have heard the dreaded fart sound. If you equally as lucky you’re service dog doesn’t turn around to their backside and sniff in horror as if they have been taken hostage by their own flatulence.
However, if you’re unlucky you are consumed by SBD (silent but deadly) flatulence. It starts with a small whiff of the oh so familiar smell of fart odor, followed by the hope that it won’t spread. Then like a mushroom cloud it balloons to surround you in its invisible but “lethal” flatulent bubble. You try to keep poker face, and hope that the principle of Boyle’s Law doesn’t take over.
Note: Boyle’s Law, a principle that describes the relationship between the pressure and volume of a gas. According to this law, the pressure exerted by a gas held at a constant temperature varies inversely with the volume of the gas. For example, if the volume is halved, the pressure is doubled; and if the volume is doubled, the pressure is halved. The reason for this effect is that a gas is made up of loosely spaced molecules moving at random. If a gas is compressed in a container, these molecules are pushed together; thus, the gas occupies less volume. The molecules, having less space in which to move, hit the walls of the container more frequently and thus exert an increased pressure (How Stuff Works).
But alas the noxious flatulence molecules must expand to fill the container (the room) into which they were carelessly released. If you’re in polite company you’re only hope is to pretend you do not smell the ever expanding gaseous presence filling the room. You cannot look around you at the grimacing faces. Just pretend you don’t smell a thing. If you are with a group of people that must acknowledge the flatulent odor consuming the room: I find a sense of humor is the best weapon to fight the silent sense of embarrassment. Drop a random statement like “Too much beer last night.” and quickly change the subject.
Do NOT under any circumstance try to spray something to cover up the smell. For instance, do not use a spray that smells like pine trees in an attempt to cover up the fart smell. It will only make your environment smell like your dog just farted in forest. The same concept is true with floral sprays or any other fragrance for that matter. The only thing worse than the smell of dog fart, is the smell of dog fart trying to be covered up with floral fragrances. After all nothing says I love you like a dozen roses smelling like fart. Take heart, eventually the errant flatulent particles will expand to fill the room and the aroma will dissipate. My best piece of advice is just try to pretend you never smelled your service dog’s release of noxious fart fumes. The less you acknowledge the quicker people will forget and your embarrassment will subside.
It’s to time break the silence (pun intended): How do you deal with service dog flatulence? We must support each other to avoid a possible fart epidemic.
God bless, and smile a lot.